Below you will find the Tarot Part of this How to Article (published on Violent Acres ) Its as funny as it is true. Hence the sometimes dubious perception of Tarot Readers or Tarot itself. Lol – still , give such a bogus reading a chance! ITs a great exercise to actually connect with the cards, and overall, it fosters great creativity (and sarcasm). Enjoy:
“I have managed to convince a lot of people in my day-to-day life that I am psychic. Keep in mind that I possess no actual supernatural powers and my dead Grandmother has never visited me beyond her grave. I am merely a perceptive person. However, I have learned that the gift of perception mixed with a dash of flair is all you really need to be considered clairvoyant.
Don’t believe me? Well, keep reading and I will teach you how to interpret tarot cards, palms and even magical spooky rocks with an accuracy that will stun your friends, amaze your family and even win you a job as a sidewalk psychic.
*Quick Tip: Always keep the tools of your trade wrapped in a piece of silk. Tell people that you do this to keep the negative energy out. Also, before you begin a reading, ask for a towel to put your things on. Insist you need this because your things are much too precious and magical to touch the table. If they do, table spirits can interfere with the reading. This is very important. After all, if things go wrong, you’ll need a scapegoat. Blaming things on the table spirits works every time.
How to Read Tarot Cards
Deal a random number of cards onto the table face down. While you’re doing this, tell your Mark some bullshit story about how each card represents an Indian God that the Inka tribe used to worship back in 1782. Whatever strikes your fancy.
Now, flip over each card and use the information you already know about your Mark to predict their future actions. For example, say something like:
“Here we have the One of Pentacles. This is you. The reason you only have one coin in this picture is because you are dead broke. Notice that you are wearing shoes in this picture? This is because you blow all your money on shoes. Until you beat your insidious shoe obsession, you will always be broke.”
Refrain from giggling at the shocked expression on your Mark’s face.” (Violent Acres Blog)
